FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS
It’s all about focus and your state of mind determines how well you will be able to accomplish this seemingly simple task.
How we focus holds the key to willpower and self-control, which in turn serves as a predictor of success on all levels—financial, personal, academic, and health. Focus keeps out the background chatter and paves the way for mental agility through economizing brain energy. We all need to be aware of what’s informing the automatic pilot of our brain—to what’s occurring in the minds’ backstage.
Many prominent theorists speak of neuroplasticity and the brain’s ability to change throughout the entire life cycle. No longer does science view the brain as hardwired like a computer, but rather resilient and ever changing with the right conditions. They have found that the so-called “10,000-hour rule” to success is only part of the formula—the other crucial understanding is that Repetition PLUS a perpetual FOCUS on improving execution leads to mastery. The strengthening of old brain circuits and building new ones for a skill we are practicing, requires paying attention and attempting to recognize and correct errors. The drill alone is only half the battle, concentrating actively on areas you have left to perfect is the other half.
It is important to continue to acquire multi-sensory skills, even later in life. Notably, surprises are very important for the brain and change is our best cohort. The brain is acutely aware of the unexpected and when the surprise is a positive one, the brain floods with pleasure-inducing dopamine. Keeping our lives novel and interesting should be a life long-term goal. It’s that sense of novelty that keeps relationships exciting and not so predictable. The brain calls out for innovative challenges so that it can continue to make neuroplastic changes and drive new circuitry—and in a sense remodel itself. Physical fitness is also a significant contributor to brain fitness—we should take delight in changing everything from exercise to food, music, subjects of study, and all the while continuing to challenge ourselves. As far as the brain is concerned, the old adage most certainly applies—Use It Or Lose It.
Simply making a list of what we aspire to in life is not enough. Synchronicity introduces the possibilities but it is openness to new experiences along with focus and determination that seal the deal and lead to the treasure—success (economically and relationally) and a healthy sense of self. Open awareness provides a mental platform for creative breakthroughs and stunning insights. The good news is the brain was designed to change its circuitry through neuroplasticity, and emotional wellbeing as well as mastering new abilities is within our scope.
A FEW THOUGHTS ON ADDICTION
Addiction is a deeply ingrained response to stress and a maladaptive attempt to self-sooth. The hallmark of any addiction is preoccupation, compulsion, impaired control, persistence, deception, craving, and relapse. Through this lens, addiction is defined as any repeated behavior, substance related or not, in which an individual feels compelled to persist, regardless of its negative impact on his/her life and the lives of others. It is not the activity or substance itself that ascertains an addiction but our relationship with that entity that shifts it into a position of centrality. No matter the face value of the activity, we can find ourselves relating to it in an addictive way.
The more entrenched the addiction, the more one loses touch with being able to self regulate their own internal emotional barometer. As addiction accelerates, an addict can be terrorized by their own mind and panicked over the thought of being alone with it.
In case you are wondering…
As with all addictions, sex addiction is a surrogate for the nurturing and/or adulation the individual is seeking. Sex temporarily provides the dopamine and endorphin rewards that are derived from being desired and desirable. The craving for connecting on this rapid level is ironically accompanied by a terror of real intimacy. It may prove to be the quickest bump to the ego, but it leaves the train station just as fast--hence the unquenched seeking of casual sex. Insatiable, compulsive, and possibly escalating risk-taking behavior can also be fueled by a narcissistic inclination for entitlement, grandiosity, and a need to win. But that’s a topic worth a much deeper discussion…
ADDICTION AND A FAILURE TO LAUNCH
Kids can have the most economically privileged childhoods, yet if they don’t master how to delay gratification in pursuit of their goals those early advantages may strike out in the course of life. Those of us treating addiction have seen a drastic shift in the tide of parenting that has been tracked to an even higher prevalence in addiction for youth and young adults. Permissive parenting accompanied by difficulty setting limits is serving to stall out important developmental milestones for today’s youth.
Important to note, valuable characteristics or traits are missing in their personality structure-- drive, purpose, goal directed behavior, motivation, self-reflection, empathy, consideration for others, self esteem, executive functioning, and morals. Those who have particular vulnerabilities tolerating frustration have not built a self-perceived sense of efficacy or personal competency. They react impulsively and have little or no internal locus of control. And since they have such a low tolerance for frustration, they don't follow through on goal directed behavior. It is imperative to step back in and reintroduce and help them master these important developmental milestones. Our children should not leave adolescence without learning important skills such as connecting with others, following through on goals, delaying satisfaction when appropriate, safely experimenting and assessing risk, and problem solving in order to navigate the world’s increasingly complex problems.
ONE MORE THOUGHT…
I do believe that as clinicians, our focus should not be solely on reducing pathology, but rather understanding the narrative and system of meaning that has shaped the lives of our patiets. With this understanding, we are able to target and build core developmental competencies that never had a chance to foster or develop. I have seen in my practice that the potential for resiliency is quite remarkable. And one of the factors that contributes to the toxic nature of trauma--the adaptability and plasticity of the brain--is also what can lead and tender to the development of new circuitry and the capacity for change.
The dividend at the journey’s end, the cherished prize the hero is seeking, is found in being content with oneself. When you know yourself through your own eyes, then you will truly be known.
Recommended:
The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge, MD—Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science.
Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Daniel J. Siegel, MD—From the Bestselling Author of Parenting from the Inside Out.
Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence by Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.—From the Bestselling Author of Emotional Intelligence.
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Mate, MD.
FAST FORWARD — Plasticity based computer programs that help learning-disable students improve their cognition and perception. Developed by Merzenich Merzenich, a leading pioneer in neuroplasticity science (cochlea implant).
POSIT SCIENCE – A web based program devoted to preserving plasticity of the brain as people age and extend their mental lifespan.